Five Important Conversations To Have With Your Muddy Match
Thursday, October 01st, 2020
Dating is all about having fun… from the flutter of excitement before your first countryside date to the joy of getting to know someone better and falling in love. Once your take your dating conversation offline and get to know someone in person, there are so many opportunities to make memories together and share happy times. But, aside from the fun and flirtation, if you’re looking for a long-term, lasting relationship (which, our Muddy Match research indicates, the vast majority of you online daters do), then you’re going to need to have some serious conversations and discover your country match’s values, life goals and aspirations. We say, have these conversations sooner rather than later so here’s our guide on navigating them smoothly.
Dating conversation 1: When was your last relationship?
Here at Muddy Matches HQ we’re firmly of the belief that the relationships and experiences you’ve been to right up to today have helped to shape the person you know are and your outlook on life. There is no wrong or right answer, but it’s easy to fall into the victim trap and begin to recount details of your past relationships and exactly why they ended. Too much information can be a bad thing. It really doesn’t matter how many relationships you’ve had, when they ended or how long they lasted. All that matters is that you’re in the right place now to meet someone. Before answering this question, try to reflect on what you learnt from that relationship and whether it’s given you clarity about what you’re looking for in a future rural partner and your relationships together. Answering with ‘I was with someone for a while but it ended a couple of years ago. I’ve spent some time enjoying being on my own and finding out who I am again and now I’m ready for a life with someone new’. It makes you seem positive, and signals your intentions to your date.
Dating conversation 2: Do you want marriage?
For many, the answer to this question is a deal breaker. If your goals and your muddy match’s aspirations are vastly different, you need to ask yourself whether this relationship will go anywhere. Sure, you can have fun together but if you or they are not in it for the long term, are you wasting each other’s time? Of course, you might find that spending time together actually changes someone’s mind. For example, say that you don’t want marriage but as you get to know your country match better you realise that a secure, committed future is what you want, then it’s best to be honest and say so. As ever, there is no wrong or right, but being open and discussing these questions with your country date is the best basis for a relationship.
Dating conversation 3: Will you be my plus-one to a wedding?
In post-lockdown times, this conversation might not be as likely to come up, as couples all around the country are facing limits on the number of guests they can invite to their ceremonies and receptions, but being asked to be a plus-one is a huge step in showing that your muddy match is serious about you. As always, it all depends on context.
If you’ve only seen each other four times and they’ve already asked you to be their wedding date, ask yourself if it feels a bit soon for you? If so, be honest. It’s important that you don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or rushed. If, on the other hand, you can see yourself in a long term relationship with this date then it might be the ideal time to meet their friends and family, and find out more about them. After all, how they interact with other people is always a good indicator of how they’ll treat a partner.
Dating conversation 4: Are you still on online dating sites?
If you’ve been on multiple dates with the same person, sooner or later one of you will want to bring up the subject of exclusivity. And by that, we mean that you’re not seeing anyone else and you’re not still active on our niche countryside dating site. Until your relationship status is defined, there’s no reason why you should not still be online; it’s common to people to have dates with different people. But when you start thinking about exclusively dating one person, perhaps that’s the time to take your profile offline and discuss it with your country partner so you know that you’re thinking along the same lines.
Dating conversation 5: Let’s go on holiday!
As in conversation 5, the issue of holidaying together might not be so common now, but a UK staycation or romantic weekend away might be on the cards for you. As well as considering if you want to spend so much time one on one with this person (a deal breaker if there ever was one), this question also has the added pressure of the ‘money talk’. Again, be clear about what you can and cannot afford, and be clear about the terms of the holiday before you commit – will you be sharing a room or booking separate rooms? What sorts of things will you be doing – walking, cycling, beach visits – and does that sound fun for you? Remember, you never have to do anything you don’t want to do but being open and honest is the best way to avoid disappointment and awkwardness – for them and for you.
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