How To Break Up With Someone

Sunday, July 28th, 2019

How To Break Up With Someone

It’s that one conversation that is never easy…. “breaking up is never easy I know”, as Abba say. So, if you’ve been dating your muddy match for a while but things aren’t going quite to plan. Whether it’s just fizzling out or your values aren’t compatible, a break up is inevitable. Whilst being dumped is hard, don’t forget that it’s also hard for the one doing the dumping. Sure, there’s an easy way out (heard of ghosting?) but the grown-up, and kinder, way is by talking to your match. Here’s how to break the news.

If you’ve only been on a few dates

1. Be straightforward

The ‘break up’ conversation is going to be hard but try not to shirk away and ghost your match. Be straightforward, sit your date down and talk to them. Tell them that things aren’t going to plan and you think it’s best to part ways. It will be hard, for both of you, but in time your date will appreciate your honesty and won’t be left questioning themselves.

2. Stick to your ground

Being dumped is hard and a common response is for them to try to make you change your mind and give them another chance. Be strong! You’ve thought this through and, if you know in your gut that things won’t work out, it’s best to end things here and now. Be clear, direct and calm.

3. No need to explain

If you’ve only been on a few dates, neither of you are invested in the relationship enough for explanations to be necessary. Phrases like “Sorry, I’m just not interested” or “I’m sorry but I don’t see this going anywhere” will be sufficient. Going into detail will only make you, and them, feel worse.

If things were more serious

1. Don’t let things go on and on

Once you’ve made your decision to split, it’s best to have the conversation as soon as you can. Why prolong what is going to end, and give your partner false hope?

2. Talk to them in person

Can you imagine opening a message to find you’ve been dumped? Not nice at all. Make sure you meet your muddy match and break up with them in person; it’s respectful, it’s kind and it shows you do value them.

3. Have reasons

If you’ve been together a while, giving reasons for why you’re ending the relationship is necessary. Make sure you prepare yourself before you have the chat, so that you can answer your date’s inevitable ‘why?’.

4. Give them time

As much as you may want to check in with your ex to see that they are ok, breaking contact after your conversation is important. You both need time to get used to being single again, and getting in touch with them may give them reason to believe you’ll change your mind.

5. Give yourself time

Single again. Don’t be tempted to launch straight back in to online dating (nobody wants to be in a rebound relationship). Give yourself time to recover – you’ll be hurting too, remember – and rediscover your true self. You’ll be in a much better position to date after sending time being happy just you.