How Not to Appear Desperate

Sunday, January 28th, 2018

When you really want something, like to meet your perfect match, you can appear desperate​. Unfortunately, coming across as too keen can scare people off as they will fear that they aren’t special, as you are so intent on finding someone that anyone will do.

We know that in most cases it isn’t really true, but there’s an argument for acting less desperate.

Don’t send generic messages

A generic message, like ‘Hi, how are you?’, or ‘You’re gorgeous’ could be sent to anyone and it makes it look like you are sending the same message to hundreds of people.

When you do message people (after all it’s an essential part of online dating) make sure to reference something that they have said in their online dating profile text to add a level of personalisation.

Don’t declare your love straight away

Even if you think that you have found love at first sight, don’t declare your undying love until you know each other well.

Don’t send 100 messages a day

Another way to come across as desperate is to send a huge string of text, or WhatsApp messages to your new date.

Try to avoid saying ‘how are you?’, or  ‘what are you up to’ more than once a day.

Avoid making future plans straight away

When you have been dating for a while, it can really cement your relationship if you start to make long term plans together. However, after just one or two dates, it’s strange to invite your date to attend your friend’s wedding with you.

Don’t meet the family just yet

Meeting the family is a big another sign of commitment that you shouldn’t rush. It’s another group of people who you will have awkward interactions with if you choose to break up.

Avoid lavish gifts

A big bunch of flowers, or jewellery on a first date comes across as too needy and will have an adverse affect on your date.