The Date before Your First Date

Wednesday, October 30th, 2013

CappuccinoSo you have found someone online that seems to tick all the right boxes. You have been messaging one another and you discover you have several things in common, so what next? The next stage is meeting up, but you wonder whether the timing is right or if you should wait a little longer before you make the next move.

Traditional first date

When people talk of first dates, you might think of going out for a drink or going out for dinner. The problem with this is that chatting online and meeting face-to-face are two different things. What if you do not get on as well? What if your online attraction does not spark when offline? The other problem with this is that a traditional date normally implies a full evening of hoping you get along. This could be one very long evening for you if you knew within fifteen minutes you do not want to be there any longer.

A date before your date

A great solution to this is to meet for a mini date which can lead to a more traditional date. I like to call this a coffee shop date which involves meeting for a coffee at lunchtime. This means that you have established in advance that this will be a reasonably short and casual get together. This can be done during the week if you live or work close to one another or at the weekend if that is more suitable. This will greatly reduce the pressure and expectation of having to endure a long evening and it will give you a chance to test the waters and see how it goes. In addition there will no awkward moments seeing who pays the bill for food and drinks; you are, after all only there for a coffee.

Upgrade your date

You had your coffee shop date and you have both made it clear that you would like to see each other again. You will feel much more comfortable seeing your new love interest again for a more traditional date now that you have pre-qualified them. I do not advise you going crazy booking a weekend away together to see the northern lights, but keep things in perspective and I am sure you will agree that an hour’s coffee together will lay a good foundation for the more traditional date.