Testing the waters; letting the head sense check the heart.
Tuesday, October 19th, 2021
Playing the field or letting the head sense check the heart? Single females are dating more since lockdown to gauge their true feelings.
You know how country life dating with Muddy Matches works; Search, match, connect, meet IRL and hopefully commit. It’s all muddy ever afters and rural romance from that point. Right?
Well, not in all quarters it seems. There’s definitely something in the water. A new wave of female Muddy Matcher are being open with us that after meeting a perfect match who gives them nothing but positive vibes, they are still choosing to test the waters of their strength of feeling before committing by going on other dates with other matches, with the sole intention of gauging their emotions..
Playing the field? Or is it a case of looking for a better option?
Neither in truth; it’s something called positive emotional reinforcement; where the head gets chance to sense check matters of the heart with the long game in mind.
“I knew Adam was everything I wanted in a match when I met him on Muddy Matches” Lisa tells us. “We shared lots of the same interests, and had lots in common. He was also really good looking.
“We decided to meet in a local pub. The chemistry was really strong, and 4 dates in we just knew we had found something proper. But I still felt the urge to agree to 3 dates with 3 other Muddy Matches members who got in contact with me just to make sure that how I was feeling towards Adam was right.”
Lisa says she wasn’t intending to hedge her bets. but she wanted to give herself some breathing space, after a whirlwind few weeks wrapped in the whole online dating thing that felt ‘almost too good to be true’. She wanted to make sure, in her own head, that Adam was the one she wanted to commit to.
It turned out that he was.
Lisa’s experience largely goes against most logic but, a deep delve into other dating habits, and it seems she is not uncommon when it comes to giving her emotions a chance to settle down, contrast and compare.
In the age old ‘head versus heart’ debate, its the head that’s doing the due diligence here on behalf of the heart.
Some experts suggest it’s an after effect of lockdown, where people have had time to consider what they want in much greater depth and detail than ever before, and are looking to be 100% sure before diving into things head first again.
They say for the short term confusion, and drain on emotions, It can only be a good thing for mental well being and the solidity of a relationship going forward.
48 year old Liz agrees. She says she too agreed to other dates in order to firm up – or not – her feelings towards her Muddy Match, Mark.
“I did meet with one other muddy match but whilst he was a lovely chap there was just no connection (for either of us). It helped confirm that Mark was the one who might be Mr Right!”
Liz and Mark tied the knot earlier this year after a 7 year rural romance.
Chloe too says she had a host of dates lined up which she ‘enjoyed’ but found no one as compatible than Richard, with whom she’d been messaging on Muddy Matches and had met on 2 separate occasions prior to agreeing to other dates.
At Muddy Matches, we feel such use of other dates to build confidence and certainty in ones own feelings is something that can work – and clearly does work according to some of our success stories – but it comes with some key considerations.
Be open and honest about your intentions at all times
Don’t be ambiguous or misleading in your actions
Be decisive when you are sure – don’t leave people wondering where they stand
Always be respectful and courteous pre, during and post dates
Show appreciation that someone else is investing time and effort into the dates too
And if you end up on the wrong end of someone who’s honest about evaluating their emotional investment whilst on a date with you, accept it with dignity, show respect and move on.
There’s plenty more needles in haystacks to find.
Award winning and trusted, Muddy Matches are the UK’s original home of farmer dating, and now the nation’s go to online dating website for love in the countryside, by a clear country mile.
With over 330,000 genuine singles from all walks of country life, who will you unearth?