Swapping details whilst online dating is a waiting game
Wednesday, September 15th, 2021
“I hate this messaging system. Wanna WhatsApp me?” 8 tips to keeping the online dating ‘sprinter’ at arms length until you’re comfortable to swap details.
“It would be easier if you just gave me your number?”
Ah, the opening gambit of the online dating sprinter.
We’ve all stumbled across a sprinter at one time or another whilst online dating; that member who connects, and immediately pushes to exchange personal details away from the moderated messaging system of the online dating site quicker than you can say ‘Usain Bolt’.
With Autumn around the corner, here at Muddy Matches country life dating we know the sprinter often thrives best after their summer hibernation. So, we thought it timely to offer a few extra pointers when it comes to keeping the sprinter at arm’s length, until you feel absolutely ready.
Watch for the tell-tale signs of sprinter behaviour.
The sprinter is relatively easy to spot; from an early, sometimes icebreaker, use of leading questions. So, watch out for such repeated lines, like: ‘This messaging system is rubbish, isn’t it?’ to a subtle drop-in of excuses ‘I can’t see your replies on my phone’, the sprinter will plant seeds early in the exchange to convince you swapping numbers is a logical, natural way forward.
It’s a common tactic; one that appears friendly, open, and honest but is designed to make you question ‘why’ you are sticking with that ‘awful’ way messaging.
Set your own timeline tempo – and stick to it
Just like the grey-ish rules about what is acceptable behaviour on a real life first date, you should give some thought to how, when, and importantly where you are prepared to engage in chat away from the dating site. Have a clear thought on the tempo on which you are prepared to swap details. On average, Muddy Matches connections tend to talk in the confines of the messaging service for 17-21 days before deciding whether to exchange details.
Dictate the tone early on – and leave no room for ambiguity.
We all know that someone sprinting to move the connection on at such at lightning pace, may have less than fully intentioned motives. So, if you do decide the time is right for you to take things onto other channels, then lay out a list of ground rules on contact that you find acceptable. And do it early, within the moderated system to eliminate any ambiguity. Cover off appropriateness, decency, frequency of contact and time of contact – and make it non-negotiable.
At Muddy Matches, our messaging exchange has been purposely designed to meet some decency values (hence no photo swapping), but we can’t say the same for other channels once you give out your number,
Be empowered to give an opposing opinion
We encourage all our members to feel empowered to have their own voice when country life dating with us – and we back this up with processes that mean that any behaviour that raises alarm can be flagged. For this reason, let the sprinter know what you think, and maintain your values. There’s a customer service team and block features to help manage any undeserved comeback.
Outline your ‘dealbreakers’ whilst in the messaging service
When the element of ‘rush’ comes your way, be sure to air your list of dealbreakers in a clear, concise message to qualify if there are legs to the connection. It will slow the discussion, and help you get a true sense of the person on the other end of the match. It’s welcome breathing space to see if you are truly into the match. Smoking, children, prospect of moving, and the depth of shared interests can all be ticked off, or not, in a quickfire manner to give you a little extra piece of mind.
Do not be afraid to say No.
The big one. Just like in real life, it takes confidence and strength of character to say ‘No’ when asked to exchange numbers whilst online dating. But remember, it is entirely your prerogative, and you should feel sufficiently empowered to kindly decline. A simple ‘thank but no thanks’ message is sufficient. You don’t have to give reason by way of reply. A decent match would respect your boundaries until the time feels right.
Exchange on agreement of a date
Typically, you’ll exchange numbers when planning the logistics of a first date and to make arrangements so use that as the motivation, the carrot even. Position it as a reward for someone who’s got genuinely honest intentions and that they need to earn it. It also give you fair reason to strike up the discussion about meeting in person once you ready to take the initiative.
Be prepared to walk away, even if the connection feels real
And remember, it’s never ‘your loss’ if you don’t feel comfortable.
Attracting over 1/2 million singles from all walks of country life, Muddy Matches is the UK’s original home of farmer love, and now, the nation’s first choice when it comes to country life dating.
Who will you unearth?