Overcoming life’s hurdles and hang-ups can jumpstart happiness

Celebrating life’s baggage, not letting it define you, is key to making meaningful muddy connections whilst dating online

‘Will he consider dating me because I have kids who take up most of my time?’
‘Will she think badly of me because I’m divorced?’
‘Nobody will look twice at me now. I’m too old and dating is a young person’s game’
‘I don’t have anything interesting to say so it will just be awkward.’

Stepping into the online dating world can be a daunting place before even worrying about life’s obstacles, past experiences and personal hang-ups that may have dented self confidence and lowered self esteem.

At Muddy Matches, we endeavour to make online dating as comforting and as reassuring an experience as possible, whatever the motivation. Our aim is to encourage judgement-free dating where manners, mutual respect and appreciation of life stage is core to connections.

That’s why we encourage singletons to embrace the ‘baggage’ life has handed out to them; champion it, celebrate it, be up front about it and certainly ditch the negative, unwarranted thoughts and questions that often come associated to it.

Over 40% of our active singletons have children from past relations and more than 35% of the active singletons registered with us are looking for a second, or more, shot at love having been separated or divorced. Everyone has a past; it’s how you let it define you that counts.

“I was a 40 something divorcee whose friends all had husbands and boyfriends. My routine was work-home-bed and I wondered how I was ever going to meet someone,” says Sandra, who, after embracing her baggage and stage of life, now lives happily with her farmer muddy match on his dairy farm in rural South Wales.

“When you find happiness being in your own skin, that’s when love will come a knocking.” says another Muddy Matches singleton-turned-farmer’s fiancée, Annabel.

After 23 years of marriage and family life, the 48-year old from North Wales shook off life’s obstacles and insecurities holding her back and ventured into the world of online dating; there she found new love with Roger, himself a separated dad of two.

“I met my fiancé Roger on Muddy Matches two years ago” Annabel tells us. “It was my first date I’d been on in 24 years and WHAM! Mr Right – my soulmate – was right there in front of me.”

“I didn’t see it coming. I thought I’d have to take shares out in Costa Coffee.”

With the nation’s divorce rate reportedly soaring due to the pressures that lockdown puts on relationships, Annabel has plenty of advice for separated singles looking to embark on a new chapter when it comes to matters of the heart.

Annabel’s top tips are:

• Love yourself enough to truly know you are worthy of love and you will attract the right person.

• Arrange a date doing something rather than sitting in a café or bar. Do something together to avoid silences. ‘We made a fire and had a BBQ’

• Don’t hide the ‘baggage’; “My daughter and her best friend came on our first date.”

• Be your most natural self on your profile or on dates and be proud of who you are:
“This is me; jeans, t-shirt, flip flops and messy hair”

• Put up a range of photos that represent you for being you – not poseur pics.
You are allowed to “laugh and smile.”

• Be brave and be prepared to take a chance on love
“Roger thought he wanted a petite woman but it works out he loves me; a very curvy woman.”

Being up front, open and transparent from the very start was important to both Annabel and Roger – and it has paved the way for a mud-inspired connection that continues to bloom.

“We were brave enough to be honest with each other and it was the best thing me and Roger did. We know how lucky we are.” Annabel added.
“He had me at hello.”