How To Overcome Dating Anxiety

Monday, November 30th, 2020

How To Overcome Dating Anxiety

Have you ever experienced dating-related anxiety? You know the feelings we mean – a racing heart, inability to settle to anything, sweaty palms, and a sense of dread that your date may go horribly wrong. You are not alone. We hear stories from many people who – whether they’ve been out of the dating game for a while or suffer from anxiety anyway – find dating to be pretty much overwhelming. Let’s give you a helping hand. In this blog we’ve got some easy-to-follow tips to employ which will help you to breath, relax and have an enjoyable date.

1. Nix your pre-date routine

When thing are beyond your control – and by that we mean ‘a date’ when you don’t know how you and your muddy match will click, how the conversation will unfold, and how the date will end – we know that anxiety can often spiral. The trick here is to concentrate on what you can control. Case in point; your pre-date routine. By keeping yourself mindfully busy, doing a bit of self-care and preparing yourself as best you can, you may find that your worries fade a little and you start your date feeling calmer. So, rather than sitting waiting for date-time to come around, focus your nervous energy on looking and feeling great! Run a bath or have a soothing shower, take time to select clothes that make you feel confident, and style your hair (and make-up if applicable) with care. Taking time to focus on you will calm yourself down and feeling confident is a great way to nip anxiety in the bud.

2. Take your mind off it

The benefits of time outdoors are well-documented so, if anxiety about your date is totally taking over, get yourself out there to experience the healing effects of nature. A walk by yourself, taking your dogs for a walk, grooming your horses… anything that takes you out of the house and focuses your mind on something else can help to calm your nervous system and set you up for your date.

3. Take off the pressure

It’s completely natural to go into any date hoping that the person you’re about to meet is ‘the one’. Just think of the pressure that puts on you and that one interaction! We advise that you take the pressure off by going into your date looking forward to having a pleasant time with someone new – not applying extra pressure to yourself by thinking this date could be life-changing. This simple change in way of thinking can really help you to keep calm and relax.

4. Get prepped

If you know that you get tongue-tied and shy when you’re anxious, why not prepare some questions and conversation topics? You would if you were heading to a job interview (same situation – new place, new people, you want to make a good impression!), so why not for a date? We’ve got lots of great conversation starters to help you here or, for a more light-hearted date, take inspiration from our list of first date questions here.

5. Talk things through with a friend

Believe us: sharing really helps. If you’re feeling nervous and anxious, pick up the phone and call a friend. A good friend will take the time to reassure you, build you and your confidence up, and let you know that they’re there for the post-date debrief too. Sharing how you are feeling with a close friend really helps, so give it a go.

6. Break the ice

So, you’ve followed our advice and your date is about to arrive. Take a deep breath and smile. As well as kidding your brain that you’re happy and calm (that smile can do wonders!), you’ll also come across to your date as friendly and welcoming, and you’ll put them at ease too! There’s nothing wrong with telling your date that you’re nervous too – more than likely they’ll make a joke and break the ice!