How To Stop Comparing Your Countryside Date To Your Ex

Friday, November 8th, 2019
How To Stop Comparing Your Countryside Date To Your Ex

Welcome to all of your rural singles! We’re delighted to have you here at Muddy Matches, the rural dating site that helps you find love in the country. Are you newly single? We feel you. Getting over someone is difficult, and sometimes moving on can be even harder. It’s natural to compare new country people that you meet to your ex – whether things ended well or badly. So, here’s how to avoid that trap and enjoy getting to know new muddy people, with no comparisons in sight.

1. Reflect + review

Think back to your last relationship and ask yourself honestly, what was good and what was bad? If you tend to put your ex on a pedestal then give yourself a reality check; nobody is perfect. If you’re more inclined the other way, and are blaming them for all the negative aspects in the relationship, then remember it takes two to tango. Stepping back and getting a bit of perspective is key to moving on and enjoying your rural life.

2. Relax

Have you dived headfirst in to countryside dating, fresh out of a relationship? What’s the rush? Give yourself a bit of time to just be, well, you! Find out who you are again, what you enjoy doing, and take a look to see what your priorities are. Only then will you be in a good place to start afresh.

3. Stop the texting

Very often we hear of ex-partners who have a super-close relationship with their ex, constantly with them on Whatsapp, calling and meeting. Clinging on to the past is going to make moving forward more difficult, and still having regular contact with an ex means it’s even easier to compare new country friends with them. Ask yourself, why are you still in touch? And then try to cut off all contact.

4. Give them a chance

Oh, the pitfalls of making quick judgements. First impressions count when you’re online dating but remember that, especially on a first date, people are nervous! Give your rural match a chance and let yourself get to know them before setting your judgements in stone. If you find yourself mentally comparing your date to your ex, remind yourself that this is a very different person, with their own personality traits, interests, values and relationship goals. All that matters in the present moment is that you get to know them, and let them get to know you.

5. Talk to a friend

Confiding in someone close to you before you head out on your countryside date is essential if you’re apprehensive about meeting someone new. Chat to a friend about the date, get them to put your mind at rest, and hopefully they’ll help you get excited about meeting your country match. As for post-date? Well, talking to a friend to ‘dissect’ the date helps you to evaluate all of your country date’s qualities (good and bad) and makes them very ‘real’. And if you fall into the comparison trap, your friend can pull you up.

6. Have hope

We can’t promise that the first person you meet online after a broken relationship will be the person for you. It might even be the 9th or 10th you date. But stay hopeful! The right country partner for you is out there, and you fully deserve love.