How to Break Away from Your Usual Type

Most people are creatures of routine and this even applies to dating; we keep looking for a particular type of person, even when it has failed for us time and time again. We’re here to convince you to move away from your usual ‘type’ and to tell you how to go about it.

Identify common traits

Think back over your dating history and write down the characteristics of each person whom you have been in a relationship with. Think about what they have looked like, sounded like, enjoyed doing, the type of jobs that they have had and who has taken the lead in your relationships.

You won’t find that everything matches (that would be very strange), but you may find that there are some overlaps between your former partners, that indicate that you have a particular type.

Once you have identified that type e.g. young blondes, then you can go about looking for someone who doesn’t fit the same brief.

Relationship models

Now think about the relationships that you witnessed growing up as we tend to mirror the romantic relationships that we have grown up with. For example, did your parents stay together? If you all lived together, what was the balance of power in your parents’ relationship?

You may be subconsciously trying to put yourself into an unhappy relationship because it is what you are used to and by looking at these early relationships it will help you to identify the problem.

Ask your nearest and dearest for their help

If your best friend is constantly moaning about your poor taste in men, or women, then ask them what is causing their frustrations. They might just be able to pick up on where you are going wrong and they will be able to help you to pick a more suitable date online. They can also look through your ‘favourites’ list and identify anyone who is unsuitable for you.

Take a chance on someone new

If you receive a message from someone, take the time to look at their dating profile text and photos carefully instead of instantly dismissing them because you thought ‘hi’ was too casual, or you picked up on a spelling mistake in their message. If you aren’t sure about them, you could arrange a quick coffee date to see if you are attracted to them in person.

It takes guts to send someone a message, so they must have thought that you were a good match for them based on your common interests.