Humble bragging

Friday, August 04th, 2017

Your online dating profile is your opportunity to sell yourself to other single people online (metaphorically, not literally, as it’s not that sort of website). You will want to use your profile text to tell people why you would be a good match for them, without being seen as arrogant. So how do you strike the balance between self-deprecation and bragging?

Be factual

Simply stating the facts is not bragging, whereas pointing out how wonderful it is will be seen as bragging. For example, saying ‘I volunteer as a football coach for my local under-12’s team’ shows that you like to help others and that you are sporty. However, ‘I volunteer as a football coach as I’m a pretty good footballer and want to show them how it’s done’ appears arrogant, unless it’s done in a jokey way.

Don’t just list your achievements

Although listing your achievements is factual, it will seem overwhelming and unnatural. Try to balance out your achievements with your likes and dislikes as well as what you are looking for in a partner.

For example, you could mention what you do for a living, what hobbies you have and how you like to spend your spare time.

Add some humour

If you are simply amazing in your field, try to balance out a brag with a bit of self-deprecation. For example, ‘I train a lot as I want to be the fasted woman in my age group, but my efforts have seen me fall over the finish line of my local Parkrun as I was so keen to beat my time, that was pretty embarrassing’.

Ask your friends to review you

Somehow it seems less pompous if you tell people what your friends say about you, than if you say it yourself.

For example, ‘I asked my friend what she’d say if she was setting me up on a date and she said that I’m funny, but not always intentionally and that I’m kind to a fault and will even share chocolate cake’.

It seems more natural than saying that you are funny and kind.

If you are in doubt about whether or not you are coming across as arrogant, then it is a good idea to get a friend to read through your profile text before you submit it.