10 Tips for Writing an Opening Message

So… you have found someone who is attractive and whom you have a lot in common with – now what?

You need to send an opening message to get their attention and hopefully to arrange a date.

Here are are tips for crafting the perfect message…

Keep it short

Your message should be more than a sentence long, but shorter than this blog post. Aim for between three and six sentences.

Greet them

Say ‘hello’, ‘hi’, or whatever other greeting that you like to use. It might sound obvious, but it is courteous to start with a greeting rather than jumping straight into your message.

Compliment them

Tell them what attracted you to their profile. For example, you could say “I wanted to say hi as you seem like a really outgoing person”.

Point out common interests

Let them know that you share hobbies, interests, or travel history with them. For example, you could say “I recognise your photo of Lake Garda, it’s such a beautiful place”.

Ask a question

Asking a question about something that they have said in their profile text will show that you are interested in what they have to say and it will give them and opening for their reply to you.

Don’t send the same message to everyone

The scattergun approach lacks personalisation and will not help anyone to feel special. It will make you look like you are either a scammer, or someone who is too desperate to be choosy.

Don’t be smutty

Smutty comments are more likely to get you reported than to get you a date.

Don’t just say ‘hi’

Just saying ‘hi’ makes you look lazy and won’t inspire conversation.

Don’t use text speak

Keep text speak for text messages and try to use complete sentences in your messages. The only exception is using ‘x’ at the end of your message, which is seen as being friendly and flirty.

Do use spell-check

If you are unsure about how to spell something, run it through a spell checker first and make sure that it hasn’t replaced your original word with something completely different.