What’s Going Wrong?

Friday, March 10th, 2017
What’s Going Wrong?


A lot of the questions that we receive every week have a similar theme as people ask where they are going wrong. Here are two of the most common enquiries and some advise about how to tackle the problems.

“Why aren’t I getting any messages?”

First of all – are you sending any messages and adding people to your favourites list? If you are not sending any messages, it’s unfair to expect to be able to sit back while everyone else finds you. Also, by adding someone to your favourites list you will draw attention to yourself and show people that you are interested in them.

“Why aren’t my messages being read?”

When you do send messages, it can be upsetting to find out that people are not responding to you. If your message is being ignored, there are a few things that you can check…

*When did the person last login to their account? – If you look at their profile, it will tell you when they were last active. For example, it might say ‘active within one week’, to tell you that they have logged in within the last seven days. If they have not logged in since you sent them a message it will mean that they have not yet had a chance to read it.

*Were you being realistic? – If you are a 65-year-old getting in contact with a 25-year-old, it is likely that you are being ignored because you didn’t have realistic expectations. It is also important to be aware of what people say in their profile, for example they might say that they would not consider dating someone who is a smoker.

*Did you personalise the message? – A really generic message like ‘hi, how are you?’ might look like you have been in contact with lots of people and won’t feel special. A personalised message is most likely to get a response as it will show that you are interested in that particular person, rather than going for anyone. Try to mention something that they have said in their profile and to point out what you have in common with them.

If you have any questions about online dating, take a look back through our other dating advice articles for suggestions.