Coming on too Strong
Sunday, August 23rd, 2015
Coming on too strong is one of the easiest ways to scare someone off. Here are some of the ways that people can appear to be too intense and how you can avoid falling into the same trap.
Don’t bombard someone with messages
If someone doesn’t reply to your message straight away, be patient and don’t start sending lots of follow up messages. You may think that they need a bit of a reminder, but they can see that they have a message from you when they log in to their account. Sending lots of messages can appear to be intimidating.
Don’t ask someone out straight away
Your first message should be a friendly hello, rather than “what are you doing tomorrow?”. Although, we would encourage you to arrange a date (in a safe public place) after exchanging only a few messages.
Don’t stalk someone on social media
If you befriend someone on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn… straight away it can make it seem like you are stalking them, especially if you comment on every photo they share or comment that they make. When you’re getting to know someone, stick to using the dating website’s messaging service so that your personal details are kept private.
Also, when you start chatting to someone, don’t post “I think I’ve found ‘the one'” on your social media streams for all to see. You never who can see your social media posts unless you’ve set all of your security settings.
Don’t declare your love straight away
For some, love at first sight does exist, but it’s a bit creepy if you declare your love for someone straight away. A survey we conducted said that on average people take one month to fall in love, so saying that you’re in love with someone on a first date seems a little premature.
Don’t share the most intimate aspects of your life straight away
Most people have been through upsetting experiences in their lives; whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a physical illness or a mental illness, but it’s not a good idea to go too far into such serious issues when you first meet someone.