The Perfect Profile

Monday, November 10th, 2014

Sloan Sheridan-Williams photoSloan Sheridan-Williams is a Chelsea based Celebrity Life Coach, Wellness Expert and Relationship Expert. Sloan is famous for her six step coaching model called ‘The Sloan SECRET’.

Here Sloan talks about how to approach your dating profile, your profile photo and how to keep a positive attitude.

A Complete Guide to Online Dating

When approaching online dating, it is really important to have a great profile and a great profile photo. Your profile photo needs to be a “personality picture” which demonstrates who you are as a person. For example if you are a dog lover put up a photo of you and your hound. Make sure your photo is recent and clearly shows your face with a genuine symmetrical smile. Such a photo is much more likely to draw people towards your profile.

The Perfect Profile

Many people find writing a profile the hardest thing to do. If you need some advice on how to write a great profile that’s engaging, upbeat and interesting, here are my top tips:

1. Avoid cheesy clichés and just be yourself.

2. Ask close friends how they would describe you.

3. Be honest yet mysterious by keeping things short and sweet.

4. Check spelling and grammar before publishing.

5. Update your profile every so often to keep things fresh.

Attitude is Key

Another important factor of successful online dating is attitude. Having the right attitude is key to avoiding unhelpful emotions like feeling disappointment and will keep you focused on your ultimate goal of finding a compatible partner. We are the product of the stories we tell ourselves so you can develop the right attitude to online dating by letting go of the outcome and any negative self beliefs so you can have fun on your journey. This positive attitude will come across in your profile and conversations with potential dates making you sound more engaging and attractive.

Focus on Positive

It also helps if you focus on what you do want rather than on what you don’t. At the start of your online dating journey, make a list of what you’d like to have from a loving stable relationship together with any non-negotiables such as they must like dogs or enjoy countryside walks. By focusing on what you want, you will subconsciously attract those who match this criteria towards you.

Perception is Everything

Inevitably you will face disappointment on your dating journey. My clients often hear me say that “perception is everything” and this definitely applies to online dating. The negative emotion of disappointment arises when life does not match up to the stories we’ve told ourselves about what should happen. You can deal with this unhelpful emotion by changing your perception. Remember that your perception may well be different from theirs. Time distortion for example means what feels like a week to you might only feel like a couple of days to them.

Reframe disappointment by shifting your focus on to the future not the past. You wouldn’t only just look in your rear view mirror when driving your car so why would you navigate your life like that. Keep moving forward on your dating journey and have fun along the way!

For more information, head to Sloan’s website