How Many Messages Should I Send?

Friday, June 13th, 2014

Man hading a letter to someone with a heart shaped stamp.When it comes to sending messages to people, it should be based on how you feel rather than a set of rules. However, here are a few guidelines if you’re not quite sure how many messages you should send in each situation.

To different people

If you like someone’s profile send them a message! Don’t worry about being in contact with a few people at a time. If you’re not in a relationship with them, it’s OK to talk to other people.

Before sending out my contact details

We would strongly advise people not to send out their contact details within the first message that they send. Firstly, it can look scammerish and secondly it is putting your own safety at risk!

Wait until you feel comfortable with someone before sending out your contact details.

Before speaking on the phone

Some people like to speak on the phone before meeting someone for the first time, while others don’t – it’s a matter of personal preference. If you do wish to speak to someone before meeting up, make sure that you are happy to give them your phone number and arrange a time to talk that is convenient for you both.

Before meeting up

You’ll need to send at least two messages before meeting up – one to introduce yourself and one to exchange contact details. Try not to send so many messages back and forth that you know everything about each other before meeting up.

To someone who isn’t replying to me

If you’ve sent a message to someone and they haven’t replied it can be worth sending another message. However, it is advisable not to send a succession of messages without getting a reply as it can seem intimidating.

If you do choose to send a second message, make sure that you wait at least a week and that you do not say something pushy like “why aren’t you replying to me?”

If you don’t hear from someone, get in contact with other people on the site.

For more information about what to send in messages, click to see our other blog posts on the topic.