10 Online Dating Message Tips

Monday, September 09th, 2013
Woman using a laptop in a field of sunflowers

What’s the best way to get noticed on an online dating site? The answer is to send messages to people who you would like to get to know. Here are 10 tips for sending your first message through a dating website:

  1. Always use a greeting – It may sound obvious, but a simple ‘hello’ or ‘hi’ is the best way to start a message.
  2. Don’t stop there! – Simply saying hello is just lazy. It is best to aim for two or three sentences.
  3. Do your research – Read through their profile and interests carefully before contacting them.
  4. Be personalFollowing your research you should be able to write something personal, instead of a generic message.
  5. Tell them what you have in common – Say something like “I noticed we have a lot in common, I went to Harpers Adams and would rather head to the slopes than lie on a beach too”.
  6. Add a compliment Say something nice about their sense of humour, taste in films etc., but don’t focus on their looks.
  7. Ask a question – Asking an open question is a good way to get a response from your potential date and shows that you aren’t all ‘me, me, me’.
  8. Don’t reveal too much – Don’t put your phone number and email address in your first message. It’s always best to use a secure messaging service for a while before you give out your personal details.
  9. Don’t moan – If you haven’t had much luck on a dating site, don’t moan about it in your messages.
  10. Don’t use the scattergun approach – Generic messages like “Hey, how are you beautiful?”  are likely to remain unanswered as you will look like a player.