Should You Kiss on a First Date?

Friday, May 11th, 2012
Should You Kiss on a First Date?

Whether or not you should kiss on your first date is arguably one of the most stressful aspects about dating. To take some of the worry out of the process I asked the Muddy Matches team for their advice and here’s our checklist for deciding whether or not you should initiate a kiss on your first date.

Does it feel right?

The most important thing to consider when deciding whether you should kiss your date is how you feel about them.  Steve said:  “If it feels right to kiss someone on the first date then that’s great, you shouldn’t hold back”. However, “if it doesn’t feel right you should leave it” as it’s either too soon or they’re not the right person for you.

Don’t be afraid to wait! We’ve known couples to get engaged on their first date, but equally it can take a long time for chemistry to develop and some relationships are built on solid friendships.

Is your date flirting with you?

If your date is flirting with you it’s a good sign that they fancy you, particularly if they’re touching you a lot; so you’re not taking too much of a gamble if you do want to kiss them. In the words of Jo “it’s only a kiss, so there’s no harm done if it doesn’t work out.”

Where and when are you meeting?

At Muddy Matches we encourage our members to meet in busy public places for safety; however it can feel awkward to kiss your date in front of other people.

Lucy, who’s not a fan of *PDAs said: “It can take four or five dates until it feels like the right time to kiss someone, particularly if you’re organising daytime dates in public places.”

If you’re in a restaurant or somewhere where people are eating it’s probably best to stick to a quick peck on the lips at most.

How much have you had to drink?

We don’t want to encourage anyone to get out of control on their first date, but Emma said: “having a couple of drinks together on your first date might make it easier to pluck up the courage to have a kiss”.  She quickly followed it up with “I’m obviously not telling people to get drunk on their first date though!”

Did their profile describe them as an ‘old-fashioned romantic’?

If your date specifically said that they have ‘traditional approach to dating’ it’s probably best to stick to old-fashioned etiquette, which says that the gentleman should initiate the first kiss.

If you’re a man on a date with a lady who likes an ‘old-fashioned gentleman’ you could even ask if it’s alright to kiss her, however Lucy says that in most cases “you should avoid asking as it kills the mood”.

Under pressure

Do not feel pressured into kissing on your first date. If you want to test the water you could always go in for a kiss on the cheek and see how your date reacts.

If you were hoping for a kiss and didn’t get one remember there’s always next time.

*For those of you who don’t know your dating acronyms Lucy means public displays of affection.

Do you expect a kiss on a first date? Send us a tweet using the link below, comment on Facebook or send us an email to to let us know.