Dating Message Templates

Thursday, March 20th, 2014
Glass bottle on a beach with a rolled up bit of paper inside to represent message in a bottle

Messages on dating sites should be three things; personal, short and not weird.  By personal, we mean that you shouldn’t send exactly the same message to lots of people; it should be tailored to show that you have looked at each person’s profile and photos before getting in touch with them. It should be short enough to grab someone’s attention, without putting them off. You should avoid any humour that could be seen as being weird or creepy.

It’s easier said than done, so here are some dating message templates that you can adapt as you wish. Each one starts with a ‘Hi’, but you can use the greeting of your choice, whether that’s a friendly ‘Hello’ or a more formal ‘Good evening’.

I like your profile

“Hi [insert their name] I really liked your profile, so I thought I’d get in touch. [Insert reference to hobby, travelling, job etc. that caught your eye] sounds really interesting. I don’t know how you find time for it all.”

We have lots in common

“Hi [insert name] I love [Insert shared interest] too. There’s nothing better than [insert what you enjoy about your shared interest]. I’m planning to go to [insert relevant event] soon. All the best [insert your name].”

Did you go to my school?

It’s a small world, so the chances of you seeing someone on a dating site that you have met in the past is really quite high. This can work as an ice-breaker though as you’ll already have something in common and if you’re confident enough you could always admit to having had a crush on them.

“Hi [Insert name], funny seeing you here. I can’t believe it’s been [insert number] since [insert teacher’s name]. How are you? Do you still [insert nice anecdote e.g. use pink pens for everything]?”

I love your photos

“Hi [Insert name], I had to get in touch as I really liked your photos. Where was the [insert reference to interesting photo] taken? I love [whatever you liked in the photo e.g. travelling or wildlife photography] too and have recently been to [insert relevant place that you enjoy going to].”

Man/ Woman of mystery

Some people like to keep their profile short and prefer to write ‘ask me anything’ than saying a lot in their profile. It makes things more difficult as you don’t have a lot to go on, but a good place to start is by asking what they enjoy doing.

“Hi [Insert name], you said to ask you questions, so here goes… What do you enjoy doing? What’s do you do for a living?”

Or, if you can carry it off, you could ask them a joke as it can work to break the ice.

Answers to your questions

Someone who has asked questions in their profile makes things a bit easier for you. You can just send your answers across in your message and see if you make the grade.

“[Insert answers to the questions]. How did I do? All the best [insert your name].”

Sending a message of any kind is better than not sending a message at all, so don’t worry too much about the exact wording!