We’re not going to lie here, sending your first message is pretty daunting; so here are some tips to help you to make the first move.

Keep it short and sweet- The most successful messages in our experience are less than five lines long. You can always send more messages if you want to know more about each other.

Flattery will get you everywhere- Everybody enjoys a compliment, but there’s a fine line between giving a friendly compliment and seeming creepy. It’s better to compliment someone’s profile than their looks as it shows that you’ve taken the time to learn more about them and aren’t objectifying them.

Tell them what you’ve got in common- If you’ve found someone who shares your love of Wensleydale cheese and country fetes it’s a good idea to point out your shared interests. You could even be a bit cheeky and use the information to suggest a date, for example “There’s a great food festival in Edinburgh soon that I’m planning to head to”.

Another idea is to check out the ‘Who’s Going?’ pages on Muddy Matches to see if anyone you fancy is going to a particular event and say in your message “I spotted that you’re going to the Henley Regatta too, maybe we’ll bump into each other”.

Comments like these make it easy for someone to say “yes it would be great to meet up at the event”.

Ask them a question about what they’ve written in their profile- If they say they love going on long walks in the countryside ask them where they like to walk. This shows that you’re interested in finding out more about them and aren’t a “me, me, me” kind of person.

Remember to spell check- Spelling isn’t the easiest thing in the world, but make sure you triple check everything; especially if you’re using predictive text as it can lead to embarrassing mistakes.

DON’T WRITE IN CAPITALS ONLY- Bizarrely a lot of people choose to write in only capitals in their message. Using capitals only makes it look like you’re shouting and people might think that you haven’t worked out how to remove the Caps Lock.

Don’t send contact details through straight away- When you’re in the safe confines of a dating site such as Muddy Matches you can report and block other members if you are offended by their messages. It’s much more difficult to have to change your phone number or block someone’s emails; so we recommend that you do not give out your contact details until you have got to know someone through the messaging service.

Keep your message lighthearted- Your message isn’t the place to write something negative as people react better to positive introductions. However, you might be able to get away with some gentle teasing, like “I never thought I’d be contacting a [insert sports team here] supporter, but I really liked your profile.”

Don’t be disheartened if you don’t get a reply- we do encourage members to say ‘thanks, but no thanks’, but not everyone is happy sending a rejection. If you do not receive a message back or if you receive a negative response it’s important to keep trying.  In the words of Theodore Roosevelt “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed”.

If you’re a muddy matches member and would like us to look over your message before sending it please email customercare@muddymatches.co.uk.

What do you like to see in a message from an admirer and what would put you off? E-mail dating@muddymatches.co.uk to let us know.

Once you’ve written a fantastic profile and added a flattering main profile picture (see our Dating Profile Photos Dos and Don’ts) you can start adding additional photos to let people know more about yourself. It’s also useful if you really can’t decide which your best side is!

Here at Muddy Matches we’re always happy to help members choose the best  shot for their profile picture. We also check all the photos sent in by members to make sure that you’re not unwittingly revealing too much about yourself, but remember many dating sites don’t offer this service!

To help you decide on the best photos for your profile here are our dos and don’ts for adding additional photos:

Do

• Highlight your hobbies- Showing pictures of your hobbies gives a great starting point for conversation and a picture of you in your well-worn riding gear is a good sign that you’ve not put ‘enjoys horse-riding’ when you’re only tried it once.
  

  Tell people what you like to do

• Post a full body shot- A full body shot allows people to get an idea of what your fashion sense and your figure are like. Remember that people like different things, so don’t worry if you’re not built like Kelly Brook or Daniel Craig (I’m certainly not).

• Have fun- A silly picture will help people to understand your sense of humour and will show a different side to you.
  

  Include pictures of your favourite events

• Show your pets- If you have an adorable pet chances are other people will find it cute too.  It also helps to know in advance if someone has a dog and you’re strictly a cat person.
  

  Add a photo of your pet

Don’t

• Use a raunchy photo- Remember that dating sites are in the public domain, so anyone can see your photos, even people you wouldn’t fancy in a million years.  Profile no nos include pictures of you in underwear, in bed, draped across a car or in teeny tiny swimwear. Also ladies please don’t do playboy poses!

I think we’d get a lot of complaints if I posed for this one.

• Take a picture with your car registration in it- If you’ve got a beautiful classic car or the latest sports car it’s really tempting to show it off, but your registration plate can reveal a little too much about you. Unfortunately there are criminals out there who can clone number plates and get up to no good using your details.
  

  Don't reveal your number plate-even if you're proud of your personalised plate

At Muddy Matches we will blank out the number plates on members’ profiles, but some companies will not.

• Reveal any personal details- Work is a big part of most people’s lives, but it’s important not to reveal your place of work by adding pictures of your company logo on a building or on your clothing.  If someone knows where you work it would be easy for them to find you without your permission. The same thing goes for sports clubs and other places that you like to frequent.
  

  Don't tell everyone exactly where you work and play

If you’re a Muddy Matches member and you need help choosing a photo please do not hesitate to contact us by emailing photos@muddymatches.co.uk.

Have you contacted someone because you liked their additional photos? E-mail dating@muddymatches.co.uk to let us know.

Whether or not you should kiss on your first date is arguably one of the most stressful aspects about dating. To take some of the worry out of the process I asked the Muddy Matches team for their advice and here’s our checklist for deciding whether or not you should initiate a kiss on your first date.

Does it feel right?

The most important thing to consider when deciding whether you should kiss your date is how you feel about them.  Steve said:  “If it feels right to kiss someone on the first date then that’s great, you shouldn’t hold back”. However, “if it doesn’t feel right you should leave it” as it’s either too soon or they’re not the right person for you.

Don’t be afraid to wait! We’ve known couples to get engaged on their first date, but equally it can take a long time for chemistry to develop and some relationships are built on solid friendships.

Is your date flirting with you?

If your date is flirting with you it’s a good sign that they fancy you, particularly if they’re touching you a lot; so you’re not taking too much of a gamble if you do want to kiss them. In the words of Jo “it’s only a kiss, so there’s no harm done if it doesn’t work out.”

Where and when are you meeting?

At Muddy Matches we encourage our members to meet in busy public places for safety; however it can feel awkward to kiss your date in front of other people.

Lucy, who’s not a fan of *PDAs said: “It can take four or five dates until it feels like the right time to kiss someone, particularly if you’re organising daytime dates in public places.”

If you’re in a restaurant or somewhere where people are eating it’s probably best to stick to a quick peck on the lips at most.

How much have you had to drink?

We don’t want to encourage anyone to get out of control on their first date, but Emma said: “having a couple of drinks together on your first date might make it easier to pluck up the courage to have a kiss”.  She quickly followed it up with “I’m obviously not telling people to get drunk on their first date though!”

Did their profile describe them as an ‘old-fashioned romantic’?

If your date specifically said that they have ‘traditional approach to dating’ it’s probably best to stick to old-fashioned etiquette, which says that the gentleman should initiate the first kiss.

If you’re a man on a date with a lady who likes an ‘old-fashioned gentleman’ you could even ask if it’s alright to kiss her, however Lucy says that in most cases “you should avoid asking as it kills the mood”.

Under pressure

Do not feel pressured into kissing on your first date. If you want to test the water you could always go in for a kiss on the cheek and see how your date reacts.

If you were hoping for a kiss and didn’t get one remember there’s always next time.

*For those of you who don’t know your dating acronyms Lucy means public displays of affection.

Do you expect a kiss on a first date? Send us a tweet using the link below, comment on Facebook or send us an email to dating@muddymatches.co.uk to let us know.

It’s official, April was the wettest in over a century; good news for ducks and plants, less so for fans of picnics in the park.

Following on from our ‘5 Rainy Day Date Ideas’ we have got our heads together and thought of some more wet weather activities:

• Coffee shop/ tea shop- An oldie, but a goodie a coffee shop is quiet enough to enjoy a good conversation and if you get on really well you can head on elsewhere to continue your date.
• Laser Tag- This pain-free shooting game is a great way to get to know each other, whether you chose to team up or fight it out between you. If you’re not afraid of a bit of pain then paintballing is even more fun in the mud. It’s probably best to avoid shooting each other on a first date though!
• Country Houses and castles- The UK and Ireland have some of the most amazing historical buildings in the world, so a rainy day is a wonderful excuse to make the most of our heritage. Check out these links to English Heritage, Historic Scotland, Visit Wales, Discover Northern Ireland and Discover Ireland.
• Cooking contest- Whether you’re a fan of Ainsley Harriet or just consider yourself to be a dab hand in the kitchen then a cook off is a great way to spend an afternoon together once you’ve got to know each other. For a Ready Steady Cook style twist why not buy the ingredients for each other? Just remember that you’ve got to eat it, so don’t buy anything nasty!
• Bowling- If you don’t mind reverting to the kind of dates you went on when you were at school then bowling is another fantastic excuse to show off your skills. Even if you’re absolutely rubbish it will give your date something to laugh about.
• Skating-While we’re on the subject of self-deprecation, skating is a great way to bond, especially if you’re both clinging to the side of the ice/roller rink deep in conversation.
• Matinee performances- Theatres across the land offer cheaper tickets for afternoon performances of their top shows, including West End performances. Some companies even offer pre-theatre lunch packages, so you can extend your date and grab some tasty food too.
• Drink tasting- I’d say wine tasting, but the UK and Ireland have some fantastic spirits and beers too. Taking a tour of a factory, brewery or vineyard will help you to appreciate the finished product even more, but be careful not to drink-drive or get too tipsy on your date!

As always remember to be safe and if it’s a first date or you’re still getting to know your date make sure you meet in a safe place and tell someone where you are going. Check out our safety advice for tips on planning a safe date.

Your main picture is one of the first things people see when they look at your online dating profile, so it’s important that it shows you in the best light. There’s no point spending hours writing an amazingly witty profile about yourself and then uploading the first picture you find, or worse still not even having a photo on your profile.

Here are our dos and don’ts to get the perfect profile picture, complete with handy illustrations.

Do:

• Put a photo on your profile- By not adding a photo you’ll instantly cut out anyone who searches for ‘profiles with pictures only’. People like to see who they’re corresponding with and studies have shown that people are more likely to trust someone if they can see their face. On Muddy Matches it’s as easy as clicking ‘add/edit photos’ and selecting your perfect photo to upload.

• Smile- Ditch the intense and deep photos. A smile makes you look happy and friendly, two very appealing characteristics.

• Use a recent photo- Not everyone in the world is 21, but you might think it when you look at some online dating sites.  You want your date to recognise you when you meet!

• Ask a friend to help you choose- It’s always good to get a second opinion, especially if you can’t decide between two photos.

Don’t:

• Cover your face- A picture from your last skiing holiday, complete with goggles and a hat is a good additional photo, but not so good for your profile picture as people want to see your face.

Don't obscure your face

• Take photos of yourself- We receive thousands of profile pictures that have been taken at arm’s length and have concluded that extreme close-ups just aren’t flattering, especially if they’re blurry! If you genuinely have no contact with other humans then it may be your only option, if not then get a friend or family member to take a nice flattering shot of you, you don’t even have to say it’s for your dating profile.

Get a friend to take your picture

• Use a photo of you with friends and blank out their faces- Blanking out people’s faces is a bit creepy. Please crop friends out of the picture rather than putting a black box across their face. If you’re not happy editing the images yourself, Muddy Matches members can always email them to photos@muddymatches.co.uk and we will work our magic for you!

Don't cut your friends out of the picture

• Take the picture in the dark- Unless you’re trying to appeal to vampires a very dark photo isn’t a good idea and won’t show off your looks to their full potential. Red eyes are also a no no.

Don't use blurry or dark pictures

• Use images from photo-shoots- Ladies, sorry, but you are the real culprits here!  A photo shoot is a great present or something to do as a family, but double denim, a feather boa and a few inches of make-up won’t show the real you and, as a profile photo, it can give the impression that you are trying just a little bit too hard.

Don't use overly posed photographs

Remember that here at Muddy Matches we always check photos before they go online to make sure that there’s nothing in them that shouldn’t be. However, if you need any help with your photos, be that editing them or deciding which one would make the best main photo, feel free to email us at photos@muddymatches.co.uk and we’d be happy to help! Or speak to our customer service manager Jo who can help Muddy Matches members with red-eye reduction, downsizing photos and cropping images to name just a few of her editing skills.

There’s nothing like a hosepipe ban to bring on flash floods. Here at Muddy Matches we’re not afraid of a little rain, but when it got up past our wellies (as you can see in the picture) we thought it was time to think of some wet weather date ideas.

So here are our top 5 rainy day date ideas:

1. Water sports- When it comes to water sports you’re going to get wet, so you might as well take advantage of the bad weather, grab a wetsuit and get ready to catch a wave. If you’re lucky enough to live near the coast you could head to surfing lessons together or try kitesurfing without the risk of hurtling into swimmers. If you’re miles from the sea there are water sports centres and reservoirs across the country offering wakeboarding, windsurfing and canoeing to name but a few.
2. Pool hall- For Steve Davis types the local pool hall is a great way to show off your skills and have a good chat. If you barely know which end of the cue to hold it’ll give you the chance to call on your date for a helping hand and everyone likes to feel needed!
3. Get crafty- If your date has said that they’re interested in crafts or have a ‘creative side’ then suggesting a place where you can paint a pot or blow glass will win you serious brownie points.  However it’s best to leave the Ghost style pottery making until you really know each other. There are a surprising amount of craft centres across the UK and Ireland. Check your local tourist information website for details or just search for ‘craft centres’.
4. Local pub with board games- There’s nothing like the smug feeling of being inside next to a fire when it’s pouring down outside and playing board games is a great way to find out about someone’s personality. If they bemoan you buying Mayfair it might just unveil their competitive streak.
5. Museum/ Art galleries – You don’t have to live in London to be close to a museum or art gallery, from the Pencil Museum in Keswick to The National Museum of Rural Life in East Kilbride there are plenty of places to take a date who loves a bit of culture. To find details of museums in your area check out these webpages for England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland.

For more ideas see our Rainy Day Date Ideas Part II post.

Remember to always tell someone where you’re going and plan a safe route home. For more details check out our safety advice.

What is your favourite rainy day dating idea? Let us know by e-mailing dating@muddymatches.co.uk.

Check out  our latest success story to see how great dating in the rain can be!

So being the caring and sharing people that we are we’d like to share our top online dating profile clichés and no-nos with you.

Avoid the Clichés – you are an individual, but a cliché riddled profile doesn’t demonstrate that. Try to avoid the gold old ” bottle of wine and a DVD”,  “I’m not sure what to write” and “I’ve never done this before”. It’s also best to steer clear of “I have a good sense of humour”; let your sense of humour shine through naturally!

Tell the truth – with online dating you come to a point where you want to meet up with the person you’ve been chatting to. If you have said that you are younger or thinner than you really are your date might just notice.

Don’t moan about your ex – there’s nothing like a good moan, but your dating profile isn’t the best place to vent. Saying “I don’t know why I’m bothering all men/ women lie and cheat” might as well say “I haven’t got over my ex and still have emotional baggage”.

Don’t use text speak – leave the ‘lols’ to teenagers; life is challenging enough for them without us stealing their language. Acronyms are a no-no too, WLTM and GSOH may have been necessary in the age of newspaper classifieds, but there’s no character limit on your Muddy Matches profile.

Don’t let your profile age – saying “New Year, new start” may sound like a good way to start your profile in January, but it won’t sound quite right in November. Also “I’m Lucy and I’m 28” is a bit pointless as your age will automatically update from your date of birth.

Don’t ask for someone who is good looking – sorry guys, but this is something men are especially guilty of.  Everyone wants to find someone attractive, but asking for someone who is attractive might put off people who fit the criteria, but don’t want to appear arrogant.

Don’t be a hypocrite – it’s hardly fair to say that you’ll only reply to people with a picture on their profile or lots of information about themselves if you’ve left yours blank. The more you have on your profile the more people can talk to you about.

What are your dating profile pet peeves? Send us an e-mail to dating@muddymatches.co.uk to let us know.

Each year millions of people join dating websites and according to a recent YouGov poll a whopping 49% of men and 41% of women have tried online dating. The success rates are pretty high too, with 20% of all new marriages starting out online.

So what makes online dating so popular?

Online dating allows you to meet people who you wouldn’t have otherwise had the chance to meet. Although meeting at work or through friends is a great way to find someone with whom you have a common interest it relies on you having a big group of friends or a lot of luck.

Online dating enables you to choose from thousands of people from the comfort of your own home, but don’t worry niche dating sites like Muddy Matches allow you to search for members with similar interests so that you don’t get overwhelmed. However, remember not to filter out too many people straight away as searching for a 6’6” rugby player with a passion for flower arranging and rom coms would really limit your choices.

It’s very rare that you see people in the street with ‘single’ tattooed on their head, but with online dating people reveal their marital status up front so there’s no need for awkward questions on that front.  Also, with people listing their hobbies and uploading photos there will always be a starting point for conversation, cutting the need for cheesy chat up lines.

How do I make online dating work for me?

First of all you need to know that not all dating sites are the same; you may have heard shock stories from friends about scammers, but here at Muddy Matches we carefully review all member profiles to keep scammers away and you can also report members anonymously if you are not happy with their behaviour.

As a family run business we’re also keen to help our members, so we’re only a phone call away if you need any help setting up your profile!

Once you’ve completed your profile it’s important to be proactive, you wouldn’t put your CV online and hope to be approached by your dream employer and the same thing goes for dating- you need to be brave and contact other members. As they say ‘fortune favours the brave’.

However it’s also important to be realistic, if you approached 20 people in a pub and asked them if they’d like to go on a date with you, you wouldn’t expect all 20 to say yes. Even George Clooney and Angelina Jolie would get rejections. So don’t be disheartened if one person you fancy isn’t interested, there are plenty more members on Muddy Matches who will say yes.

What if I haven’t clicked with anyone yet?

If you haven’t found anyone you like so far, keep trying. Even a niche dating site like Muddy Matches has thousands of members joining each month and a number of our success stories have been from members giving the site one last try.

Would you recommend online dating to your friends? Email dating@muddymatches.co.uk to let us know.

Over the coming months, and hopefully years, we will be posting about all sorts of things to do with dating, including tips for successful online dating, date ideas, relationship advice, dating etiquette, safety advice and much, much more.

If you have any burning questions, or topics you think we should cover, as always we’d love to hear from you so please drop us a line at dating@muddymatches.co.uk.